It’s funny how recently this blog has turned into a reporting of a stream of events, something so far from my original intent. I did want to give readers a glimpse into everyday life, maybe with some pictures to show a bit of this, how cute my kids are, how hot my husband is…but I definitely wanted to “say” something of significance, even if its just relating a story that makes you think, smile, wince, whatever.

So basically I’m admitting this site has been “less than” for some time. And I’m not really okay with it, but not 100% sure that I can change it at the moment. Sometimes I feel like a master juggler…and sometimes I let my balls drop. Ok, the last part of that sentence sounded strange. Obviously I’m speaking figuratively, not literally– I’m not actually dropping my balls…wait, what I meant to say was…oh never mind.

As I make an effort to offer something to you other than the event reporting that you’ve grown accustomed to now, please throw me a bone…share with me your thoughts so I know you’re out there and have an opinion.

Now, I guess its time to join the October train and say the proverbial, “I LOOOVVVEEE the fall”, that everyone’s been screaming out lately…but really I love NOVEMBER, that’s the money right there…I mean the weather can get down right crispy (ok, maybe not so much here in Scottsdale but…) there is a Holiday completely devoted to FOOD (and thankfulness, and who isn’t thankful when they are consuming mash potatoes? Ahhh…I digress) Family starts to gather, the shopping commences (though surprisingly the Christmas Shopping ball is already in the air, and I’ve not dropped it.) Cozy sweats, chilly nights, clear perfect days–yep, I’m all about November, October is over rated if you ask me.

I’ve always loved writing. I remember being a kid, fighting with my parents, and writing them letters to explain how mad I was. I’d write and write…then I’d write letters to make up with them too. I’d write letters to friends, cousins…there is just something about being able to get all your thoughts out, have no one interrupt and rewrite, and cross out and tweak until the paper contains the absolute best version of your thoughts, sentiments, ideas.

I got to thinking about life awhile back and thought about how texting, emailing, myspacing (is that a word?) writing…all of these means of communication have something in common, they are “editable”. Take MySpace for example, the ole fuzzy picture in a dark room with lots of eyeliner and sideways shot that turns a 85 year old man into a 19 year old stud, or what about blogging or emails, all of these things can be backspaced, spell checked, (ok, I know, I know there are times I need to use this feature more, don’t rub it in.) Edited. And that’s the trouble.

With the media airbrushing every photo, editing every video, restylane in the lips, lipo on the hips…what part of us is real, raw, unedited? Not that all of these things are bad, I’m not saying that, I’m saying that almost every means of communication or contact can be altered to be the best version of “you” or “me”.

Somewhere in all of that– “perfection” has become the norm. When everything has been nipped or tucked or augmented or injected or photoshopped or cropped or backspaced…we see what others want us to see. I know, I’m rambling, but stay with me, there might be something worth reading, no promises though.

But I want to know what about the raw, uncut, unplugged, unedited versions of us? What if there were no backspace, no tummy tucks, no cover up? How would our perceptions of people change if our flaws were out there for all to see, all the time? Of course, I think its great that we can “fix” our problems and deal with our issues, but sometimes, I wonder if the fixing of the outside makes us overlook the fixing that we might need on the inside…

Don’t be fooled by this face…This boy is trouble! I never really understood the difference between having a girl and boy…you know the whole sugar and spice and snails and puppy dog tails, but am I ever getting schooled. Just a list for you of the things Ty has tried in the last few weeks:

- Eating a roach (that was bad karma on my part…long story.)
- Eating paper, plastic, crayons, foam, fabric… basically anything he can get his grubby hands on.
-Eating toilet paper from a four year old’s pee filled toilet
- Attempting to stick a key in a light socket (learning to remove the safety covers from light sockets.)
- Taking off a dirty diaper in his bed and smearing the remnants around for all to see and ME to clean

The list could go on but I’ll let you really stew on the above crimes…then, please bow your heads and pray for me and all the other moms with boys.

THIS IS ME

Your Birthdate: June 11

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world. You’re very sensitive to what’s going on around you, yet you remain calm. Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche. Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done. Your strength: Your inner peace Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds Your power color: Emerald Your power symbol: Leaf Your power month: November

This is MD

Your Birthdate: February 18

You are a cohesive force – able to bring many people together for a common cause. You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too. Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others. You also keep your powerful emotions in check – you know when to emote and when to repress. Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities Your power color: Crimson red Your power symbol: Snowflake Your power month: September

THIS IS MD

So, since MD took on a new role and a new schedule, our entire family schedule has now adjusted. And since he now works Tuesday through Saturday,Mondays have taken on a whole new identity! In fact I look forward to Mondays now!

We had a great day today. He watched the kids while I went with a freind to get a massage at Dolce (a Mothers’ Day gift I finally cashed in on…)and it was the best I ever had.

Came home to spend and afternoon and evening enjoying some quality family time…We swam, we grilled, we rode bikes to get ice cream…good old fashioned fun. They give Monday’s a whole new meaning…

Well…this weekend marked another milestone for us…six years of marraige, two states, two kids, three homes…A LOT has happened, and I can honestly say I’m so thankful its happened with my best friend. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how things would play out, and not that every day, or any day for that matter, is perfect, its just perfect for me.

We celebrated with an amazing brunch at The Phoenician…wow! The food was art, and absolutely heavenly. We enjoyed our time together, and ate, and ate…my kind of day.

Ok, I guess its time to say something. Even if its not anything worthwhile. I’ve had a million ideas for posts, but they’ve all come and gone and I’m left here with not much to say.

Things are plugging along. Kids are growing like weeds and we are enjoying watching them. Almost daily Brad and I make note of how “rich” our lives are because of them. They are the best thing we’ve ever done…also the hardest job we’ve ever taken on. Today we were talking about some of our values and how precious this time is to us. We are looking forward to the upcoming years as they grow, and our lives will take on a new shape…more than they have already.

Sometimes, life is funny, realizations come at unexpected times…I’ve kind of had a few “mini-realizations” this week, a few really vivid dreams that were heart wrenching, renactments of real life events that I’ve been a part of…to the point where I was actually crying in my dreams. Weird.

So, to sum things up, I don’t have much to add at this moment, hence the silence. I mean Shannon broke her silence by announcing she was adopting a baby…How can I compete with that?

I’m not sure how often I’ll be posting in the coming weeks (time for a collective sigh…what WILL you do?) hopefully the days and hours you dedicate to this blog can be reinvested in something equally as important…like maybe you could join Amway or something.

I’ve had a million ideas for posts, things to say. But time has been whirling by at lightning speed for me and I don’t have time.

I could tell you that I gave Tboy his first hair cut.
I could tell you that now he looks so little boyish and not babyish, it makes me sad.
I could tell you that mowing the lawn has lost a bit of its appeal due to biting ants. (California ants are much nicer and do not bite…what’s up with this?)
I could tell you I started working a few hours a week…
I could tell you that I got my first scorpion sting and lived to tell about it.
I could tell you that my girl is the BEST 4 year old color-er I’ve ever seen.
I could tell you I’m pregnant. (but that would be a lie.)
I could tell you my husband is amazing (but you already knew that.)
I could tell you that he switched positions at work and is working SOOOO hard.

I could tell you all the aforementioned items and more…but I just don’t have the time.

I’m sitting here in the silence of my house, everyone is tucked away but me and it’s only 9:05pm. What??!! Complete, utter silence. It’s beautiful. A gorgeous storm is lighting up the sky and it is breathtaking. I love watching rain fall. Every few seconds the entire sky lights up and every now and then thunder crashes in the distance.

It reminds me of when I was 19 years old. My little Mazda pick up with the camper shell was packed to the ceiling with everything I owned in this world…which wasn’t much. My Mom, a great friend and I squeezed together on the bench seat driving across country without airconditioning in the middle of summer, caravaning with some other friends to an unkown place. Well, I mean I knew where I was going, but Tulsa may have been Africa to a 19 year old girl who’d lived in the same house on the same street her entire life.

We left early in the morning and drove late into the night. It was hot. Consumingly hot. We sang songs. We talked, took pictures, laughed, cried about me moving so far away from just about everything I’d ever known, and laughed some more. When we reached Texas a storm, much like this one, lit up the long flat road ahead of us. The black night shone bright as day as the lightning covered the sky.I remember the way it made me feel. Like the world was so much bigger than me yet, somehow my life still meant something. At least I was hoping and dreaming it did.

I had no idea where the next ten years would bring me, I could never have guessed that I’d be sitting here right now. Ideas change, Ideals can change, but somehow, somewhere in the midst of it all hoping and praying my life will mean something to this world I live in. Right now, I’m content to know that there are at least a few inside this house that think so.

All of my life I’ve loved to vacuum. I love the feeling of a room marked with the perfect lines and am always trying to preserve the lines as long as possible…with two kids running around that equals about 45 seconds, but whatever. Such gratification seeing a room in perfect order complete with perfect lines. Now, take that feeling and multipy it by 100 and you have the high that I have just learned about…mowing the lawn. Seriously no one ever told me how great it is to look at a lawn you just mowed complete with lines that don’t disappear as soon as someone walks on it!!!! Oh the sheer joy! I’m so not kidding. I LOVE mowing the lawn!!!!

What I don’t love…finding a dead scorpion in my garage. That’s another story.