A small lesson I’ve learned over the years is that to keep lines of communication find out how people best communicate and use that as your primary mode with them. Some of my friends are texters, some like phone calls. Some people in my life communicate best through letters or emails. I’ve had to adjust to make our relationship work.
Recently, I had to adjust to communicate with my husband.
As B and I have added more aspects to our busy lives, communication is paramount in preventing insanity. And dear Lord, it is not always easy. I’m constantly trying to convert him to my preferred methods of communication and it doesn’t seem to work. Recently we had a breakthrough conversation. I had the epiphany that for nearly 11 years I’ve been communicating the business portions of our family life on my terms. And things have slipped through the cracks. We do pretty well at juggling a lot, but then every now and then we are faced with the reality that too much life + not enough communication = leaves room for disaster.
A couple weeks ago he was leaving for a week long trip. In order to get where he needed to go, he had to take the red-eye. We had gone back and forth regarding tickets and finally decided on a schedule that worked for him. I purchased ticket and sent him confirmation. As he got to the airport to board his very late/early (depending on how you look at it) he started to panic when his name wasn’t on the list. He called me and I assured him he would be on the list. I efficiently logged into my email to pull up the confirmation only to find that due to the whole red-eye situation I had booked the flight for the day before and he had missed his flight. I thought I might puke.
A few hundred dollars later and a new ticket to Pensacola…problem solved. I felt awful. And to make matters worse, B was SO gracious and understanding. It was like he was heaping coals upon my head. I was humbled and so loved…I could hardly stand it.
The “incident” as we like to affectionately call it, led to some revamping of our current communication process. We implemented some sit down time to go over business details together- and hopefully prevent any further mishaps. I discovered that a notebook with a simple list was all that he needed to feel that he was in the loop. All of my digital communications were falling by the wayside. So, pen and paper have now become a part of our business communication. A few days into it and I’ve watched my husband’s shoulders relax a little, the brow a little less furrowed.
Why didn’t we do this earlier? A simple conversation on a daily basis seems to set him at ease. Nothing in what I’m doing or what is being accomplished has changed, it’s just that now he has a grasp on the list of tasks that are out there and the progress that is being made.
What do you do to keep communication strong in your relationships? Share please.
