The concept of community has been ingrained into me since birth. I grew up living in the same house on the same street for the first two decades of my life. Many of the people I went to kindergarten with, I graduated from high school with. We lived in very close proximity to some very close friends. Over the years, those friends became family.
I loved taking walks with my mom through the neighborhood and stopping in to see her friends. Unexpected visits, long conversations, cups of tea, laughs.
We didn’t have play dates, we just went out and found people to play with.
It wasn’t necessary to call first, we just stopped in. Houses weren’t perfect, moments weren’t orchestrated, they just happened. I can honestly say those relationships are so deep within my soul, they will never be severed. EVER.
As I grew into my adult life we have tried to bring the same concept of community into our friendships. We’ve lived with friends. We’ve vacationed with friends. We bought our house and moved into our current neighborhood for that very reason. We had close friends who lived down the street and there seemed to be tons of families we could connect with.
Our culture makes what seemed so simple in my childhood a very challenging task. The pace of life we live does not lend itself to building deep relationships.
I love the following excerpt from the writings of author, John Ortberg:
“People
rarely
drift
into
deep
community.
Psychologist
Alan
McGinnis
notes
that
rule
number
one
for
entering
into
deep
friendships
sounds
deceptively
simple:
Assign
top
priority
to
your
relationships.
Ironically,
we
tend
to
devote
massive
amounts
of
time
to
making
money,
running
errands,
and
succeeding
at
our
jobs,
but
we
neglect
giving
our
most
valuable
possession—time—to
the
experience
for
which
we
were
created:
community.
One
of
the
most
counter cultural
statements
in
Scripture
is
a
description
of
the
early
church.
In
speaking
of
the
people’s
oneness
of
heart
and
mind,
the
writer
notes,
“They
met
together
daily.”
They
worshiped
together,
ate
together,
talked
together,
prayed
together—on
a
daily
basis.
No
wonder
they
grew
so
close.
We try
to
create
first‐century
community
on
a
twenty‐first‐century
timetable—and
it
doesn’t
work.
Maybe
the
biggest
single
barrier
to
deep
connectedness
for
most
of
us
is
simply
the
pace
of
our
lives.
How
often
do
you
hear
(or
say)
things
like,
“We’ve
got
to
get
together
soon”
or
“Let’s
do
lunch
in
a
few
weeks
when
things
settle
down”?
The
requirement
for
true
intimacy
is
chunks
of
unhurried
time.
If
you
think
you
can
fit
deep
community
into
the
cracks
of
an
overloaded
schedule—think
again.
Wise
people
do
not
try
to
microwave
friendship,
parenting,
or
marriage.
You
can’t
do
community
in
a
hurry:
You
can’t
listen
in
a
hurry.
You
can’t
mourn
in
a
hurry
with
those
who
mourn,
or
rejoice
in
a
hurry
with
those
who
rejoice.
Many
people
lack
great
friends
for
the
simple
reason
that
they
have
never
made
pursuing
community
a
high
priority.”
If you’ve been around me much you’ve probably heard me talk about Pajama Time. Pajama Time is unscheduled, unhurried. It involves lounging, talking, eating, just being together. I’m still waiting for the day one of my friends shows up on my doorstep unannounced in their lounge clothes for some Pajama Time. I know that living in community like this requires sacrifice and is not for the faint of heart. It may require radical change to your schedule, your decisions, your plans- but I’ve lived it, and it’s so worth it.
Are your relationships an inch deep and a mile wide? I don’t know about you, but I’m looking for something deeper.
